Days are slow, but life is good

It's now been almost a week since my first treatment. I am tired and I'm not able to eat much. Only really bland foods (cereal, bread, bananas) I'm trying my best to keep drinking fluids, which has been hard and eat anything that sounds good to me. 

Thursday and Friday were the easiest and then the nausea started to get worse Saturday. I had plans to take my sweet mom out for lunch, a pedicure and then to the ward play on Saturday, but we only got to get a pedicure and ran into the grocery store. I was so exhausted. Once we got home and were going to head to the play I couldn't get off the couch to get anything done. I went right to sleep and taking a nap helped. I was able to go with Joe to a birthday party for a friend of Tates and then I even made it out to dinner and a movie with Joe and some friends. 

Sunday was the best mothers day ever. I can't even explain how special my boys made it for me. I love them all so much! Max and Tate were so excited and had their gifts wrapped and ready for when I came downstairs. Tate was first and he made me a beautiful fan and a necklace with stones he painted. Max made me the cutest flower magnet for my fridge and he wrote me a poem. Joe went above and beyond and got me a "mum" mug and a jacket and he organized with a friend of mine to have her make me a beautiful quilt. It's seriously amazing! Thank you Becca:) My mom even got me a darling little tea set that I absolutely love. We headed off to church and since I wasn't feeling well (nausea) I took my first backup nausea pill. It made me tired. I was going to try to stay for all of church, but ended up only making it though sacrament meeting. Porter was having a day and I didn't really have any energy, so my mom and I came home and put him down for a nap. I was able to nap a little and when Joe got home, I was feeling a little down. It was so nice to have him come home and snuggle me while I cried. I'm telling you I am a rollercoaster of emotions right now, one minute I'm fine, the next I'm a mess. Once I got it all out, I felt better so we took the boys on a drive out to Caversham park for a play and to explore. It was a nice afternoon, but again it wore me out and I fell asleep on the drive home and had to rest when we got home while Joe and my mom made dinner. It really was a great day and I have my mom and my sweet husband and my sweet boys to thank for that. 

Monday morning I was feeling sick again and took another backup medicine. I think I've realized that if I am able to eat right when I get up it makes it more bearable (morning sickness). I was able to get ready and take porter on a walk which was nice. I had a dr appointment in the afternoon so Joe came home early and I had to pick the boys up early from school. We took them down so they could play at the park across from the hospital with the huge slide. It started raining like crazy so that was short lived, but it was nice to be together. 

Today has been probably my hardest day so far. I've felt the most nauseous today. I woke up and had good intentions of making the kids pancakes and getting their lunches together. I made the mix and put one pancake on and then I couldn't do it... thank heavens my mom is here. She took right over and got the kids out the door. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with out her, I'm a little nervous about taking over completely. 

I honestly think the hardest part of all of this so far hasn't been the side effects from chemo. It's the emotional side effects. I'm either up or down... it's been hard to stay even and normal. It's hard to look past the next few months and keep perspective on how fast time goes by. The days are moving so slowly and I am trying my best to enjoy each moment I feel good with my kids. I have slowed way down and I know I'm learning so much about myself and about what's important to me. I love talking and hearing from all my friends and family. Your words and encouragement mean the world to me. I'm trying my best to respond to each of you, but know if for some reason I haven't gotten back to you I have appreciated it and it has helped bring a smile to my face or helped answer a prayer. 

xoxo,

Tori