My first day home

Well, today was my first official day home from the hospital. It was exactly two weeks ago this morning that I headed into the hospital. I can't believe it's been that long. Porter is talking so much more now, he is getting so independent and he wants to explore with the older kids. Because I was gone for so long he doesn't really need me anymore, it makes me sad. He's warmed up to all of our friends and especially to his Mimi. Max and Tate are just thrilled to have me back and couldn't be sweeter. Max made Tate breakfast today and they both help me out a ton. If I needed something they would get if for me, if I had to get up, they would try their best to help me. They are super sensitive to me and try their hardest to be careful when they sit on my lap or give me hugs. They are the best little boys ever.

I am doing okay. It's been harder than I thought it would be to be home. Organizing meds, getting the rest I need, keeping my spirits up. Luckily I have so much help, my parents have been amazing. I couldn't do this with out my mom and dad here. My friend Eliza took my boys all day today, which was so nice. I was able to spend the morning resting in my nice new recliner Joe bought me right when we got home from the hospital. I absolutely love it! It's been so nice to have a place that is mine right in the middle of all the action. The boys can climb into my lap and snuggle me, even Porter knows how to get up to sit with me and then when I need a break they can get down. I'm still able to feel a part of everything without being stuck up in my room which would get lonely. 

I'm still struggling with sleeping so last night I slept maybe 3-4 hours. I'm not sure why, but the pain medicine keeps me up. I take my pain medicine and have a quick little low where I fall asleep then I wake up 1-2 hrs later and I feel like I just slept all night. It pretty much goes on like this the entire night and finally about 6:45 I decide it's easier to just get up. Luckily I'm able to get comfortable in my bed and I can't believe how much I missed it and sleeping next to my sweet husband. 

Daytime wasn't much better as far as sleep. I've never been much of a napper, but the medicine only makes calm, so I am able to rest and kind of zone out. The hospital sent me home with 2 drains so I have home care nurses who call every day to check in on me. After my nurse called and asked about my drains she decided I could have 1 of my 2 drains removed. She came to the house around 12:30 to take it out. It's amazing how nice it is to just have one drain left. I can't even imagine how I'm going to feel once they are all gone. After she left the house, we (my mom and dad and I) headed up to the shops to grab some easter goodies for the boys and the go to the market for groceries. I was not as strong as I though I would be. In fact I kept getting light headed while walking around from shop to shop. I even had the lady at the chemist tell me I didn't look well. I think I was a little pale and sick looking today. We got our errands done as quickly as we could because I waned to have time to rest before the bbq we were having. Joe invited some of our friends over for a sort of welcome home bbq for me. It was so nice to visit with everyone outside of the hospital. We are so blessed to have such great friends here. The bond and love I feel for them is hard to explain. They have been so amazing through all of this and I am so grateful. 

Another thing I've been dealing with through the last few days and it's progressively getting worse is the numbness/pins and needles feelings under the backside of my arm down to my elbow. I've never felt anything like it, the best way I can describe it is the shock you feel from putting a 9 volt battery on your tongue only its dispersed over the area of my arm. Very strange and I'm hoping and praying it goes away. I've been letting myself get down a little more the past couple days. This is hard, but I keep trying to remind myself I can do hard things. I can get through this and fight this. I know this trial I'm going through has been given to me by my Heavenly Father to make me stronger.